Diary, 1978 by Celia Paul

And nervous heads and wild bird bends. He accepted you nervously, while at first and then lunged you, kissing you as if he would drown you, then suddenly withdraw and with a serious and abstract expression, moving towards the hall.

That night, he said that he was just going to take a shower when I arrived, so I objected to waiting. I sat on the floor in the hall, next to one of the great, proud and potbellied balzac statues, and listened to the soft waterplif, my heart was afraid because I thought about a meeting with Auerbach. Lucian roams in the hall, from the bathroom to the bedroom and back with purple The towel is tied to his waist, making me smile to stir my roots with charming nervous head conorsion. I kept sitting for a while, trying to convince myself that silence was peaceful rather than embarrassing. He joined me now, dressed in full, and we left, to meet Auerbach. When Lucian arrived, he put one hand on my knee – this filled me happily. All green traffic lights for us. We arrived at Auerbach’s house. Lucian came out and passed through the gate and followed the “to the studio” down the stairs and closed the door. The house is Victoria and somehow like a castle-maybe the full moon lent atmosphere. That’s between more Victoria …

Celia Paul is a visual artist. The mold Rose 1 And Rose 2 For the Paris Review print series is available for purchase.